Salutations and greetings! A new post for today as I type out my recent adventures and things around me plus my worries! As I enter the fifth week into Ngee Ann Polytechnic, life hasn't really been easy on the aspects of work and well... pretty much work although my life is socially okay there. Yes, as fifth week now is the E-Learning Week which everyone doesn't go to school but stays at home to do online learning and things like that. However, things were not as easy as perceived by everyone in class. The work we needed to do for E-Learning is twice as much as when we just go to school to listen to lectures and attending classes with classmates. Now it's like doing it at home alone with twice the horrendous workload. It took me three damn days to fully complete everything for the E-Learning for every module starting from Monday (15/05/17) till Wednesday(17/05/17). However I must stress, that this E-Learning wasn't the only thing I had to do for the week. I recently have been Skyping with my group members since Monday to discuss about our various projects such as Microeconomics for example. It was really productive although not as fun due to the fact that I have been sleeping very late recently due to that.
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| Looking at the amount of E-Learning Assignments... |
1) Sleepless Nights 😓💫
As much as I hate to say it, I haven't been having good sleeps lately as well due to many worries plus the recently shitload of stressful work to be done. First of all, I have been worrying a lot about how I am going to cope with all of the needs to study six modules with projects all around to take up everyone's time to revise for common tests and exams. Worse of all is that I am completely lost in Microeconomics while POA is still much of a challenge for me to understand. While I am able to tackle a bit of Business Law, I have much to learn to fully understand and apply the concepts even though I have started reading the Business Law textbook. Great! I'm having extreme difficulties in three of the few core modules with high exam percentages. I am really worried. However, I must work hard in order to achieve at least satisfying grades for myself which I would want and climb up all the way to my Diploma with a Merit.
With that said, hard work isn't the only thing I must take caution. One important thing is that I must make sure my group projects get along well although I'm not expecting things to go smoothly at some point in time when we are executing our projects as with great things to be achieve, obstacles that block that pathway would definitely manifest itself to test our teamwork and ability to handle situations like that. Judging by the people I am working with, I am glad to say that I am confident that we would be able to pull through this semester together despite our differences.
For now, I have said much about my stress of work. Secondly for my other worry which hinders me from my sleep, there is this particular classmate in which I am rather afraid who would hate me. I just got this feeling that she does due to the way she reacts to the things I say or do to her sometimes. I am not entirely sure whether she is joking sometimes or when she is serious. It confuses me because I still do not know whether she likes or dislikes me in terms of being friends. However, despite this, I find her a very good friend and is really engaging in terms of talking to people around her. She is very cheerful as well. I shall see how things between me and her go for these few months in the same class.
2) Mood Swings 😄😒😔😖😂😠😡
My mood has been on and off these few days due to the amount of growing pressure from the number of work that piles up on a daily basis. Well probably thanks to E-Learning from starting that pressure for me. It's so much that I nearly have no time for myself to relax such as even reading my own book I bought last month. I recently have been having bad temper very easily. I get angry very easily at the slightest of annoyances which I must say is very bad as I tend to break things a lot during this sudden fit of anger. This tires me out easily as well which prevents me from revising for my work which is at this moment a lot.
Besides being angry, I have recently been extremely anxious and sad although I do not show it. The reason for my extreme anxiety is because I just found out last night that there are tons of project works to be submitted next week (Week 6) with a Minutes Assessment (an English-like test) followed by a written Minutes of Meeting Graded Assignment which is due by the next two days after the first mentioned assignment. Afterwards, it would be followed by a Customer Service Excellence Test the following week (Week 7) which is 30%. That's quite a lot for a test. What's worse is that I heard from my lecturer that previous students from the last few batches of the same course failed the test which got me worried and that the only way to revise for it is to read off from the slides that have been provided to us. Then the week after that (Week 8) is already the Common Test Week which I am totally not prepared for due to the amount of things I do not understand from nearly all modules. So much things to do in under thee weeks, it is really beyond what I imagined it would be.
3) Unholy Past 💀
"How long can you keep this up?"
Life for me seems to have challenges along the way wherever I go. I must say this is not the most difficult one by far. What most difficult was the three years in my ITE life which was not just studies alone, but the people there as mentioned in the previous post. It took me a while to recover once I got into Ngee Ann Polytechnic and I still am now. However, I am better than what I previously was. I am a new person coming in here. The thought of is one of the factors that keep me moving. It took me a long and treacherous journey of schooling to eventually make myself end up in Ngee Ann Polytechnic which I have longed for during my time in ITE.
I was horrible at a lot of things during my Primary School days till my Secondary School days. I still remember those were the days where my bullying existed way before my ITE life even began. Yes, I was bullied way back all the way till my ITE life ended. It was abruptly harsh and inconceivable. I was hit in the stomach for fun, I got abandoned by usual canteen friends and I got bullied by having fear instilled into me by larger kids. I was skinny back then, I still am now but I am at least able to speak up for myself now. I was young, I did not know how to act upon such things or do I dare to even speak up. Thankfully, for the ten years, there were close friends by my side and people whom I could trust, who kept me in comfort and gave me hope that I am still being treated as a friend. As for my three years in ITE, the people I trust did not even come from my own class. It was during those three years that betrayal, bullying and abandonment was affairs I had to suck up on a daily basis. Crying myself to sleep was a daily exercise for my broken mental state.
I keep mentioning of my bad life during my three years in ITE. Yes, it's that bad. The period where I was slightly suicidal as the weight was too much for me to bear alone during those dark days. My entire class was corrupted. There was only one or two who I find comfort in by telling them of my troubles. It was the only thing that kept me in check and going. Those horrors just kept coming and coming relentlessly, even when I did nothing to cause them to happen. I was innocent. I did nothing. Yet, it seemed like everybody hated me by the third year. The suicidal feelings grew stronger. Little did I know what was to come ahead for me. I cannot make anymore close ties with the ones that brought me so much trouble behind my back as only talking to them would bring back what I am trying to avoid now. As R have recently been calling me only to ask about project work of a module which I do not take yet and also to tell me of my Ex who I wish to forget completely. Why is she always wanting to let me know of this? Can't she just leave me alone away from what's she's trying to tell me? Also, can't she just ask the others about her pathetic project work other than me? I knew from the moment she called that it was nothing good. Apparently my instincts were right. I got to be careful and take note of it if R ever calls me again in the future.
4) Hope Lives with Hard Work 😇
"It always seems bad at first, but then I find a way."
With hope dying, it almost seem impossible to stay sane during those three years. However, what I see as my first priority is always my studies. It was not all easy to climb my way up to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. From Normal Technical in Secondary School to an ITE student. It was not an easy path. I kept failing my tests and some exams from Primary School till Secondary 3. However, as I improved from Secondary 3 onward, I felt the need to go further in order to prove that it was not all for nothing. Eventually, all the hard work paid off when I became one of the top four highest in my cohort for N-Levels. This inspired me to see studies as my top priority. Although I had a choice to go to Normal Academic, I chose the ITE path as I believed it would still bring me further up to my goal in education. Life there was not easy as mentioned. With school work, Common Tests and Exams with horrendous people, it was very fatal to keep moving forward. However, I did not allow those troubles to touch my will to study hard. They did not. Eventually, I even got Director's List twice in a row. My grades was quite good in ITE.
Finally, I am in Ngee Ann Polytechnic now. Even as it is extremely tough due to the number of work, projects, tests and exams, I believe that I would be able to make it if I put my heart into it. I did not work all the way into Ngee Ann Polytechnic just to give up. I would give in all I have and work hard towards my Diploma in Business Studies! Hopefully with a merit as well if possible.
As of now, I have been reading the Business Law Textbook quite often and it seemed to be making me understand the module a bit more. However, I still need more work upon Microeconomics and POA as I have extreme difficulty in understanding both of them. The study outing with S, YH and his friends on Thursday (18/05/17) did some wonders as I was able to focus on reading the Business Law textbook and down about 20 pages in an hour, which is quite a big improvement for me in terms of being able to revise for a subject/module. However, I had difficulty in doing the third POA practice as there were some terms I did not understand mos of the terms and how to apply them into the Journal Entry. This is something I have to work on as well. Also, YH's friends were very friendly and engaging, some of them even motivated and inspired me to study harder from a note before me and Sherry left.
5) Lightened Load (Slightly) 😌
"They just keep coming!"
All of my week days this week have been spent on doing the entire E-Learning tasks and doing project works with my group mates in addition to revising for some modules. With the completion of the E-Learning tasks however, my work load seem to feel lightened by quite a lot even though I still have much to do. It's been quite a while since I feel slightly relaxed at this current situation of overflowing workload. However, I need to be prepared as this is just the beginning of what's about to come for school work.
I can't wait for next week to be over as it would be the week where the first part of most projects are to be submitted and we can focus a little bit on revising for our modules. Furthermore, I kind of miss disturbing some of my classmates already especially that someone who I find it fun to disturb. So going back to school is not much of an issue for me although the stress load will begin pouring in as soon as the first day starts. We shall see!
The Story Goes On...
"Life carries on."
Life goes on and things are bound to happen. There are also things which I am excited for such as the obvious two weeks holiday break which I think everyone is dying for obvious reasons. It all seems slow but when the time comes, it would all seem like a bad dream. Another thing that is coming which I am looking forward to is the BS Batam Trip which is from 28/06/17 to 30/06/17. Two days of get away from Singapore with my new Poly classmates. The only troublesome thing about that is the due date for some projects which is right before the trip starts. So that means we will have to submit part of our project work before that in order to ensure that it is not so rushed. Hopefully it would be a good trip which I think it would.
For now, I shall wait, see and observe. There are bound to have many interesting things happening along the way towards the two weeks holiday. Some things will happen which I will not expect. I can't wait to see what it is. I will update again soon when the time comes! Ciao!
-YKS (No Signature Required)
For now, I have said much about my stress of work. Secondly for my other worry which hinders me from my sleep, there is this particular classmate in which I am rather afraid who would hate me. I just got this feeling that she does due to the way she reacts to the things I say or do to her sometimes. I am not entirely sure whether she is joking sometimes or when she is serious. It confuses me because I still do not know whether she likes or dislikes me in terms of being friends. However, despite this, I find her a very good friend and is really engaging in terms of talking to people around her. She is very cheerful as well. I shall see how things between me and her go for these few months in the same class.
2) Mood Swings 😄😒😔😖😂😠😡
My mood has been on and off these few days due to the amount of growing pressure from the number of work that piles up on a daily basis. Well probably thanks to E-Learning from starting that pressure for me. It's so much that I nearly have no time for myself to relax such as even reading my own book I bought last month. I recently have been having bad temper very easily. I get angry very easily at the slightest of annoyances which I must say is very bad as I tend to break things a lot during this sudden fit of anger. This tires me out easily as well which prevents me from revising for my work which is at this moment a lot.
 |
| How I feel... |
3) Unholy Past 💀
"How long can you keep this up?"
Life for me seems to have challenges along the way wherever I go. I must say this is not the most difficult one by far. What most difficult was the three years in my ITE life which was not just studies alone, but the people there as mentioned in the previous post. It took me a while to recover once I got into Ngee Ann Polytechnic and I still am now. However, I am better than what I previously was. I am a new person coming in here. The thought of is one of the factors that keep me moving. It took me a long and treacherous journey of schooling to eventually make myself end up in Ngee Ann Polytechnic which I have longed for during my time in ITE.
I was horrible at a lot of things during my Primary School days till my Secondary School days. I still remember those were the days where my bullying existed way before my ITE life even began. Yes, I was bullied way back all the way till my ITE life ended. It was abruptly harsh and inconceivable. I was hit in the stomach for fun, I got abandoned by usual canteen friends and I got bullied by having fear instilled into me by larger kids. I was skinny back then, I still am now but I am at least able to speak up for myself now. I was young, I did not know how to act upon such things or do I dare to even speak up. Thankfully, for the ten years, there were close friends by my side and people whom I could trust, who kept me in comfort and gave me hope that I am still being treated as a friend. As for my three years in ITE, the people I trust did not even come from my own class. It was during those three years that betrayal, bullying and abandonment was affairs I had to suck up on a daily basis. Crying myself to sleep was a daily exercise for my broken mental state.
 |
| When I lost hope during those days... |
4) Hope Lives with Hard Work 😇
"It always seems bad at first, but then I find a way."
With hope dying, it almost seem impossible to stay sane during those three years. However, what I see as my first priority is always my studies. It was not all easy to climb my way up to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. From Normal Technical in Secondary School to an ITE student. It was not an easy path. I kept failing my tests and some exams from Primary School till Secondary 3. However, as I improved from Secondary 3 onward, I felt the need to go further in order to prove that it was not all for nothing. Eventually, all the hard work paid off when I became one of the top four highest in my cohort for N-Levels. This inspired me to see studies as my top priority. Although I had a choice to go to Normal Academic, I chose the ITE path as I believed it would still bring me further up to my goal in education. Life there was not easy as mentioned. With school work, Common Tests and Exams with horrendous people, it was very fatal to keep moving forward. However, I did not allow those troubles to touch my will to study hard. They did not. Eventually, I even got Director's List twice in a row. My grades was quite good in ITE.
Finally, I am in Ngee Ann Polytechnic now. Even as it is extremely tough due to the number of work, projects, tests and exams, I believe that I would be able to make it if I put my heart into it. I did not work all the way into Ngee Ann Polytechnic just to give up. I would give in all I have and work hard towards my Diploma in Business Studies! Hopefully with a merit as well if possible.
As of now, I have been reading the Business Law Textbook quite often and it seemed to be making me understand the module a bit more. However, I still need more work upon Microeconomics and POA as I have extreme difficulty in understanding both of them. The study outing with S, YH and his friends on Thursday (18/05/17) did some wonders as I was able to focus on reading the Business Law textbook and down about 20 pages in an hour, which is quite a big improvement for me in terms of being able to revise for a subject/module. However, I had difficulty in doing the third POA practice as there were some terms I did not understand mos of the terms and how to apply them into the Journal Entry. This is something I have to work on as well. Also, YH's friends were very friendly and engaging, some of them even motivated and inspired me to study harder from a note before me and Sherry left.
5) Lightened Load (Slightly) 😌
"They just keep coming!"
All of my week days this week have been spent on doing the entire E-Learning tasks and doing project works with my group mates in addition to revising for some modules. With the completion of the E-Learning tasks however, my work load seem to feel lightened by quite a lot even though I still have much to do. It's been quite a while since I feel slightly relaxed at this current situation of overflowing workload. However, I need to be prepared as this is just the beginning of what's about to come for school work.
I can't wait for next week to be over as it would be the week where the first part of most projects are to be submitted and we can focus a little bit on revising for our modules. Furthermore, I kind of miss disturbing some of my classmates already especially that someone who I find it fun to disturb. So going back to school is not much of an issue for me although the stress load will begin pouring in as soon as the first day starts. We shall see!
The Story Goes On...
"Life carries on."
Life goes on and things are bound to happen. There are also things which I am excited for such as the obvious two weeks holiday break which I think everyone is dying for obvious reasons. It all seems slow but when the time comes, it would all seem like a bad dream. Another thing that is coming which I am looking forward to is the BS Batam Trip which is from 28/06/17 to 30/06/17. Two days of get away from Singapore with my new Poly classmates. The only troublesome thing about that is the due date for some projects which is right before the trip starts. So that means we will have to submit part of our project work before that in order to ensure that it is not so rushed. Hopefully it would be a good trip which I think it would.
For now, I shall wait, see and observe. There are bound to have many interesting things happening along the way towards the two weeks holiday. Some things will happen which I will not expect. I can't wait to see what it is. I will update again soon when the time comes! Ciao!
-YKS (No Signature Required)
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