Well, it's the start of school. Monday (25 June 2018). I cannot express enough how stressful that term was and it was not just how fast the exams were coming towards many of the unprepared students which included me. For that week alone, the common test results were being given back to us. This was one of the biggest things that troubled me the most. What a way to start school after a good relaxing trip right? Thankfully though, I found out I managed to pass Financial Management (FMGT), Enterprise Creation & Development (ECD) and Business Analytics (B-Aly) and the week was somewhat still bearable at this moment. I only found out that I marginally passed my Cost & Managerial Accounting (CMA) the following week as my lecturer for that module, Ms L, have hinted me on that and scaring me by letting me know that she wishes to see me about it in a tone that definitely sounded as if I failed the paper, much like what she did to the others who actually failed the paper. However, I got high fever for the day after spending two hours in the lecture hall which the air conditioning was bloody cold due to the fact that it was raining heavily that afternoon as well. So I could not turn up in class the next day which was Wednesday where she wanted to see me about my common test results.
The week that followed onward were pretty much hell for me as the newer topics for both FMGT and CMA were extremely complicated, but I could not focus really well due to how tired I am each day. Adding insult to injury would be the amount of projects I had to do every day with each of the deadlines coming closer and closer without any certainty that the work we did was, accurate without any mistakes. Days felt extremely numbered as weeks go by where not even the weekends were spared by the needs to finish up the projects relentlessly due to the upcoming deadlines furthermore with presentations with each of them. I nearly broke down several times as it was really difficult, the thought of failing the exams flooding through me as I could not even revise properly during those moments as I got tired really easily, it's either doing it excessively or going home very late after meeting up to do projects in school without any forms of progress sometimes. For most of my Saturdays, they were literally used to meet up to do projects. More of a reason why it was difficult to revise for me, or to actually rest.
2.1) The First to Go: Human Capital Management
Blood, sweat and tears were ensured as we did the report for this project and the submission was on the week beginning 25 June 2018. I do not really remember the exact day we submitted this project but it should be on Monday (25 June 2018) itself. The most problematic thing about this project was using the right interview to be placed into our report. We met on Friday (8 June 2018) to settle the interview for the X0PA company. Sadly, I did not contribute much that day as I was still coughing very badly, making me very tired and not talking nearly throughout the whole day as a result. I felt kind of bad but the interview was a success. I think this was before the common test started as we did the report over the two weeks holidays, which was a bit of a pain as well as it was difficult to find the day where everyone was free. Each of us did our parts and also took turns while the other was not free. Difficult for me as I had bad rashes for the first week of the holidays as well.
This module was a bit less painful than the rest. The team members and the group for this actually thought up who do to which part quite well although the method to deciding that was a bit off. Group members was of course with JC and EA along with three of the girls from the group of girls whom were always seen with each other, even giving some people the impression that the large group were extremely scary. The three of them were A, N and ZQ. They are very work-oriented people although they were not as serious or extremely conscious about how well the work should be unlike EA which is not a bad thing. Honestly though, we were not even sure if the things we did were correct or just on the right track. Our presentation and submission was on Monday (2 July 2018) which was after our HCM presentation that day. Yes, two presentations that day! Thankfully the slides was the only hard copy we had to print out. The Sunday (1 July 2018) was the day where we spent adjusting the slides, making it look nice and some of us just went on to prepare for the presentation anyways. No point in changing the information as there were slight alterations to be made on it. We were the second group to present and as tired as I was, I tried my best but I ended up reading from the script anyways as I somehow kept forgetting on what I needed to say partially because I did not prepare for it and I did not have the time to do so. The rest did okay but when it came to the Q&A from the teacher itself, it was extremely confusing but we manged to pull through although I did not really answer any questions. I did not really talk much to the new members in this group though except maybe N. I don't know why. A sigh of relief was assured by everyone after it was over.
2.3) The End for Enterprise Creation & Development
"The good, but never really too good"
This was the project I actually enjoyed doing the most among every other projects we had. I did my part quite well despite finding several mistakes in the end. We did a lot of research and adjustments towards the end of this project and where we had to present our product as well which was a mock-up of a language app called CAYYS. Group members were two members of the large girls group who were LW and EK. It was really esy to communicate with them and the times we were all at JC's house doing the project, it was all laughs and all of us talked about our life stories from time to time as we continuously did our parts which was assigned as we went through the brief together. Times at school were also spent as often as time at home and going home late was not uncommon even when we met up at JC's house. Sometimes me and EK talk about it as an inside joke, but I've talked to her more as we went home via the MRT red line every time we went home late meeting at JC's house to work up on the research and doing up the report. So, I knew her more than the rest of my new classmates at that time. The presentation was on Tuesday
(26 July 2018) and we just prepared the slides for that first. I replied on the script heavily for this presentation as I did not prepare at all for it as all I could prepare in time was the script, but we still did well anyways although EK had to sacrifice one of her slides for mine due to the lack of time, but she was able to go back as there was still a few more minutes left. The following week was the submission for the report, strange isn't it? Wednesday
(25 July 2018) where there was no school for some of us as there were no more lessons, there was only the revision lectures left and no more tutorials. LW was able to submit that day as she had to go to school for consultation for her ISSUES IS Module. We did a lot of adjustments for the report on Tuesday
(24 July 2018) until at least 09:00 pm onward and we rushed to have the report printed after checking with the font sizes and alignments etc. Submitted on time the following day!
2.4) The Unwanted and Disliked: Business Analytics
"Somethings are just there to make you suffer"
This is probably the most hated module out of every other as it was irritating to everyone due to the insane amount of changes needed to be adhered to for the second part of the group work. As each of the parts were assigned differently, changing them was a bit difficult and a lot of us did not have full knowledge of he module and the tools to effectively counter what was needed of us to complete the task at hand. The group members were two girls which did not turn up for any group meetings except for the first one and the last one where we did the recording as part of the requirements. JC and EA did most of the work on the Tableau itself while PM and I helped out with the report more. We stayed back a lot for this project, to nights where it caused the impossibility of ever trying to revise for the exams. We managed to submit the report and the required files by 12:00 am on Monday
(6 August 2018) after working on the report and recording on Sunday
(8 July 2018) which we have no idea whether we were late or not. What follows was the individual part for the part of the project which carried 25% weightage for the total grade of the module. I started as soon as I can as the week before the submission date of Thursday
(2 August 2018), it was extremely busy as I had to work on the projects of my IS modules, finishing both of the presentations and the debate as well, which left very little time for not even a small brink of rest. This part of the 25% was extremely tedious and I only managed to get past it thanks to the help of ZQ. However, I managed to finish it all without letting the lecturer check as I wanted to start on revising for the exams already. Gosh! Hell! I submitted the report on time on Thursday
(2 August 2018). However, the printing of this report was very expensive. It totaled up to nearly $20 due to a printing error which I did not realize, and I had to reprint due to the extreme confusion, leading to the loss of $8 instantly.
3) Ageing Circle of Friends
"Rosebud"
Among those stressful periods, there is also times where I could relax a little bit from all the damn projects. One of these times would be JE's 21st birthday celebration which of course deserves to be mentioned as I also got to meet my dear close friends for that event, despite JE and RM having their differences during that period which I think they still have now. Her birthday party was at Friday
(13 July 2018). It was perfect as for that day, most of my project mates were busy and the meeting got cut short, allowing me to have the time to go there early. I was way too early that when I reached Chevron at Jurong East at around 02:00 pm, it was only QS and JE inside the chalet. So basically, we chatted a bit and JE had to go meet up her friend to get her cake which was baked for her, and I followed QS to JEM to buy some plastic cutleries and drinks for the party later while also meeting his friend at the same time. On the way back, QS and I had a talk about life and such, learning of the many things which he does in competitions and overseas trips which he could go on due to said competitions. Time check, it was about 04:00 pm and we were all alone, with the TV in front of us and having our laptops, we just started chatting away and when one of his friends came, we started decorating all the way till around 06:00 pm where guests have started arriving. Throughout my time helping JE decorate, I became friends with this fella who is now in the Singapore Police Force, sharing with me his experiences there. It was such an enlightening experience as I might also be going to join the Singapore Police Force as my National Service for two years in the future. People started coming and the party started.
WY, TK and all of my secondary school friends came at about 07:00 pm. We ate the food from the buffet which was very nice. I have never really tasted buffet food which is this good, making eat about three plates of bee hoon and the chicken cutlet that came along with the buffet packet that JE ordered. It was scrumptious! I talked to many people in that party and from this one, I have actually made new friends whom are as positive. It was great! The only thing is that I never really talked to the girls clique from my secondary school. Time came as we sang the birthday song and cut the cake at about 08:00 pm, with a speech from JE herself and everyone started taking photos afterwards. The room was small but we all managed to make it work out, especially with the decorations and all. The activities continued afterwards until some people started leaving, with me leaving with TK at about 01:00 am through the usage of Grab and WY staying over. That was when TK owed me $3.00 as well due to the extra cab fare. However, it was a great day and perfect to relax my mind by talking and hanging out with my close friends. The grinding of the project work would continue the following week once it hit Monday
(16 July 2018).
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| With the birthday girl herself, JE. Damn we both look good, but the lighting cast my shiny features out. |
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| It doesn't hurt to have more photo shots right? |
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| With JE and QS, I never really did ask about her look in this photo. |
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| All who came from Riverside Secondary School. |
4) The Recuperation before the Study Week
"Go ahead, make my day"
Time alone during revision periods were extremely scarce. After the completion of all the major projects including my IS module projects which also wasted quite a lot of time, I had to revise immediately. At this point in time, it was very easy for me to break down from the pressure as there was a lot of things I did not understand of FMGT and CMA which I did on several occasions but it was not very severe. It felt as if I was journeying alone these tough few months grinding for the near perfect completion of the projects and I hardly ever see my close friends like WY or TK or any of my secondary school friends for awhile, much less even talk to them as I was too worried about the exams, having fears that I would fail and re-module. I felt very lost at that point and I did not really know how to start as my plan to revise for two weeks was destroyed by the tedious requirements of the 25% project for B-Aly. The thought of how being in NP really breaks one mind and sanity with the time flying pass so fast that the exams near everyone almost in an instant without giving the chance for us all to recuperate and prepare. CMA was one of my biggest worries due to how my lecturer talked to me about it again during the revision lecture on how much I scored for the coursework component and she did a pretty good job in scaring me to the point where I was kind of fearful and depressed for the entire day. It caused me to be dazed and also not really know how to begin revising for my exams once everything else was cleared. What really hit me hard for that module was because one day during the first week of school after the two weeks holiday, my lecturer asked me whether there was anything bothering me at home causing me to lose my focus in revision for the module, to which I replied no, thinking of what actually caused the issue which I myself already know very well the second my lecturer asked me that question. It was always the one and only problem, the vain in my life that was once my greatest strength, the one I thought I could look up to in times of crisis, the one I once called my close friend, ST.
Thankfully, I got to meet my friends as a way to clear my mind a little bit before revision of the exams could truly begin. It was WH's 21st Birthday celebration which was on Saturday
(4 August 2018) at NSRCC at Changi, very near the airport. I was asked by the man himself to help out for the decorations so I agreed and met him at Sembawang MRT at 11:00 am that day. Among the ones who helped were me, RM, CQ and SC. However, RM only came at around 03:00 pm as we were already at the chalet at Changi blowing the balloons, chatting about and I played the PS4 with CQ for a few rounds. Before that, the few of us that met at Sembawang MRT followed WH to IKEA Tampines where his friend drove us there after taking a bus to his house which is conveniently at Tampines as well. There at IKEA, we had lunch and then went on to Tampines mall to receive the cake that WH had ordered for himself before we went to the NTUC at the basement level to grab several snacks and drinks. WH's friend driving us back to the chalet was quite fast and we reached there after awhile, enough time for each of us to take a short nap before reaching. From there, we just started settling down, blew the balloons, discussed on where the decorations should be and like I said, talked about life. That was where RM came and helped out all the way until 06:30 pm where the guests that WH invited started pouring in one by one. Thankfully, the buffet was already set up as well. However, much like my second day of the Malacca Trip, it rained heavily from 06:00 pm onwards.
The first of the people I knew was TK where I had to cover him from the main building all the way back to the chalet building due to the downpour. We began eating and waited for more people we know to come, and indeed they have come starting 07:00 pm. It was a blast from the past as few people from my secondary school turned up as well, one or two whom I have never met every since graduation. They've grown bigger and much more muscular while I still look roughly the same. We did not really talk much though, even the girls whom where from my class in Secondary School. WY and the rest who I met during outings with the group all came, along with WY's new girlfriend
(somehow). The song was sung, the cake was cut and WH had a heartfelt speech to everyone. We all had a great time chatting and I tried different mixes of the change with KW, I kind of got drunk and ultimately spent some of my time talking about my life, after which I spent time with TK playing with his Nintendo Switch where I trashed him in Pokemon. I was surprised that JC, one of my secondary school friends, bought for me a Bandai Stormtrooper figure for my 21st birthday I think which easily costs at least $100. I was touched as she showed me while I was slightly drunk and I thought to myself, how could I have made the mistake of prioritizing the wrong people all these years. After that, I took a walk around with WY and TK to have a talk about how life were. Good old times as usual, never the fail to be one of the best parts of any day, much like the previous few years and months where times were not as colorful as it is. Time check 12:00 am, it was time for me to go, and as everyone was doing their own things while I tried to book a Grab which was impossible due to how far away the place is to any forms of pick up. Ultimately, I was able to get one at about 04:00 am after spending my time there awhile with my friends, giving love advice and such. This was definitely a day to remember, much like all the time spent with these wonderful people.
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| One of the moments which got captured by the photographer. Gosh, I look old here. At least the usual smiles are there. |
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| With the pretty photographer herself! One of my close friends from my Secondary School days to the present of the Apples group. |
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| Nothing with giving myself a little spotlight right? Look at the quality of the photo! Marvelous! |
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| The full photo of the Secondary School group. As good as it gets, the moments spent together were unforgettable like the ones with WY and TK. |
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| It's good to have a further shot yes? A clearer view of everyone from further away. |
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| The photo of WH, WY, TK and I. Seeing this photo is very fulfilling as the outcome of introducing each other was better than expected. It was truly something which I definitely do not regret doing. The outcomes? Happier days and closer bonds. The few of the many positive people I know. |
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| With the main man himself, one of my bestest friends and the wisest person I have known to date. He never fails to give good advice or be there when you need him. From Riverside Secondary School until now, may the years of our friendship continue counting. |
5) The Final Exams
"The real me"
With WH's 21st birthday over and such, it was time to finally start revising for the exams. Little did I know, I did not really start Sunday
(5 August 2018) but on Monday
(6 August 2018). I must be frank when I say that it was quite difficult for me to begin after such an event because it made my days felt like an holiday. Even so was the fact that I was quite lost to where and how I should really begin revising. Since I only had a week left and there was at least five days before the HCM exam, it was an obvious choice to focus on the harder papers first which was both FMGT and CMA. I was a little bit smarter this time with the way I revised, first starting on CMa first until Wednesday
(8 August 2018) where I had to go to school to have a consultation with my lecturer, whom I did not really ask questions to as I still was still practicing with my tutorials. My progress was really slow and time was running fast, I had to start on my FMGT either ways already because I had to read through and practice Topics 1 to 10 which as gone through during the FMGT revision lecture. Revising like that made the week extremely tedious and hard to go through but I must endure for the sake of me not to re-module which I afraid I would due to the presenting difficulty of CMA. However, due to the fact that the revision lecture for FMGT specifying what would come out, it was easier and faster to revise for the exams, thus, I was somewhat prepared for it despite having only a few days to revise for it. Nearly no feeling in the world would match the one of the nervousness which would present itself as the day of exams draw closer, and the fact that during that period, it was also difficult to hang out with my family members or talk to any of my friends.
It was a matter of time before the first paper begun on Monday
(13 August 2018) where it was the FMGT paper. Being nervous and nearly forgetting some of the formulas I had to memorize was a near 100% guarantee thing to happen with the fear of never doing well despite the efforts being put into the exams this time. The FMGT paper was fairly manageable as I had followed the guide that was given during the revision lecture for that module and everything that was mentioned was tested. However, there were some questions which I still do not know how to do, but I am confident enough to ace this paper with a pass at least. The next paper was on Wednesday
(14 August 2018), the dreaded module which is CMA, never failing to drive fear into every student whom wishes to do well and ones who just wishes to pass. It nearly seemed impossible to score a distinction for it, not that it matters anymore. The one day where I revised for it was extremely tough especially when I try to memorize what was needed. Due to the lack of time however, I ended up writing down the formats and religiously memorizing them till the dawn of day where I slept at nearly 02:00 am partly because the CMA paper itself starts at 05:00 pm as opposed to the other papers which I had to take. As the reading time fo the paper began, I panicked as I instantly did not know some of the questions presented, but I could manage a little bit due to the rigorous memorizing of the formats and formulas, and how to derive some answers. I really hope I just pass this module and not re-module. It would be a joy of miracle if I really do just pass and move on to the next semester without any re-modules.
The final paper which is HCM was a few days away. Enough time to revise and actually rest for a day after the end of CMA. True enough, I did. Having both FMGT and CMA to end was heavy weights off my shoulders and I was slightly relaxed. However, I was a bit too relaxed as I only really began revising two days later as I was having the fatigue which also made it feel like it was already the holidays. It was not simple to shrug the feeling off but I managed to do it. I typed out my notes via Microsoft Word according to the things the lecturer said was important to revise to which I rigorously read and memorize towards the last day of revision, where I typed out at least two times to remember and write out the entire notes three times before I slept at about 01:00 am. Most people only revised the revision lecture notes while some others who was afraid that the things the lecturer did not mention come out for the exams, revise almost everything else. Anyways, I was very tired the next day and as the paper started at 10:00 am. I was nervous and afraid that I would forget what I was memorizing. What's worse is that the exam itself was held at the 8th floor of Blk 53, which is the place which easily makes anyone nervous who goes there to take their exams, much like the CSE exams the previous year. As the exams started, I was relieved, very very relieved that every exact thing the lecturer told us to revise came out for the exams to the dot. It was as if the revision lecture already gave us the answers to memorize for the exams. So because of this, the exam itself just became a writing marathon for those who have memorized the notes from the revision lecture well. My hands were sore, and I was tired from all the revision, but it all paid off as I finished the paper 20 minutes before the exams ended. I had the opportunity to check through everything twice before I raised my hands to go off early to which I had lunch with EA and MS at Makan Place before going home as ST and VC reached and finally got their order of mala. Thus leading to current times, the holidays, one of which everyone have been looking forward to, a huge weight off all our shoulders the instant we all left school. It was certain. I really do hope I get to do I want for this two months holidays before school starts and I also hope that I pass all modules without any re-modules. I will put the good news
(hopefully) here when the results come out on Saturday
(15 September 2018).
6) The Rock Bottom Fall: End of a "Friendship"
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
It's been bothering me much more than it should have been. Ever since I have tried settling the issue with ST under her house with no one else around on a Saturday
(26 May 2018), things between me and her have been going really on and off. All my current problems now only lies between me and her while nothing else, not even projects have disturbed me as badly as this problem. After trying to settle things with her, I've decided to get her a small gift as she told me she was excited to get a birthday card from me to which I really did. It took me at least two days to get her card done and slightly longer for me to get the gift idea wrapped up and ready to go. It was a picture of us which I deleted off my Instagram hand-drawn by a friend I knew from an art event from school quite some time ago. It was perfect and I passed it down to ST herself one day, and it was the last mention of the gift ever again until she asked whether the message was thought up by my friend or me myself to which I replied me. This was not really the issue but, as days grew by, I really tried my best to just be a friend, trying everything in my power to make things right but it was not how I think it would turn out to be. It was not anyone's fault, it never really was but her choice alone was the root of everything, from the beginning until now. I don't want to sound petty or anything but I will never forget this but long ago for my 21st birthday, it was normal for me to invite who I think was close to me, and ST was one of them. She promised me way beforehand that she would go until things changed when the date for my 21st birthday party got closer. She suddenly said she would only maybe go due to having something on that day, with JW giving the same excuse and suddenly changing her mind from "not going" to "reaching in a few minutes". As I expected, both of them turned up at my doorstep together, the last of my guests. Why the sudden change of mind? A change of heart? For the food? For face? Or just for the fact of being guilty? Indeed it was guilt as only with the intervention of WY that they were willing to go as he have told me. Fast forward to today, VC had his birthday party as well with invitations being sent out as a survey
(strangely) and I found out that ST was one of the first few to accept the invitation without any hesitation.
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| For the curious minds, this was the gift that I was talking about. Cheap ($12) and good right? |
As I have said, I do not wish to sound petty but at this point, it feels as if I was worth nothing to her. My efforts were in vain, not appreciated and severely undermined by people whom she think deserves it while they did not spend as much time on her as I did. From there on, I just started thinking why I felt this was worth the trouble, to the extent of WY sacrificing his friendship with her just for the chance of us both reconciling. Even the gifts and the constant reassurance was not enough to satisfy her lack of trust in people which is also a huge lack of trust in me as well. People might say that it's just her being too overly stressed from the coming of the exams during the exam period, but I just cannot deny the fact that I felt so underappreciated by her. From then on, I never met her before the day of exams, never went home with her, never waited for her bus to come nor talk to her that much again. I just don't want to waste my efforts again. I must fail WY this one time, but it is now how it should be. Cleansing off this bit of toxicity off my life for good and giving myself the chance to focus on the people in my life who really deserve it and those people who have been there throughout my life, through my struggles, thick & thin and made me feel like I was worth something with talent, people like my secondary school friends, WY, TK and many others known through outings with the Apples. With this realization, I hope that I can be fully happy with myself and for the people around me, forgiving myself on wasting my time on those toxic people from my ITE days. If so happens that you're reading this ST, I just want you to know that you should just go back to being friends with that toxic black bitch along with your so called best friend. I hope that they can give you the happiness you so truly crave for and just don't ever come back if that black bitch ever cause you any problems behind your back again. This will be the last post in which there is a mention of ST, so look forward to more posts coming forward in the future.
Conclusion of Another Fabled Tale
"May the force be with you."
Well, that's about sums it up for this post. It was quite a lot to share especially my Malacca Trip. I've been wanting to share it here for quite some time but I did not have the chance until now due to the term in which projects and the coming exams were upon everyone. The lack of revision due to the projects caused even more anxiety, but I'm glad it's all over for now. I just hope that I make it to the next semester clean without any re-modules
(Yes, I know I've said this before, but I will say it again). More importantly, I can now spend more time with my family as the exams are over and I do not really know what to do. Maybe even those on and off jobs every now and then. For now, gaming is of importance and I will prepare for a few more birthdays which I will be attending. I can also finally read the books especially Star Wars: Thrawn Alliances which came out in bookstores in between the term which did not really caught my attention until I saw it in Popular at Causeway Point. There's also many other books which I have not really start reading after I have bought them months ago. All this right after I clean my room which is probably going to take a few days to complete as some corners in my room is filled with dust burritos. Yes, that much dust. I have not had the time to clean my room as well due to the exams. Lastly, it would be a wonderful time to meet up with some of my friends and really do a proper catch up with WY and TK. I can't wait as I believe it is going to be as fun as the last few times we hang out together all the time., and this time, there will be no negativity present in this holiday with those around us whom are toxic gone, now suffering or enjoying on their own sick terms. Alcoholic free and awesome times here I come! Until I post again, probably when the holidays are going to be over soon. I am going to make full use of this holiday to become fully WOKEN!
Yours sincerely,
(No Signature Required)
Yai Kai Soon