Long Stretch of Life Lessons and Enjoyment

Postage Overdue

It has been really really long, many things have happened over the past few months which extended into last year (2017) since I have been absent from blogging here. Well, I wanted to blog somethings out last year but I was lazy but I'm back now so what the heck right? Besides, there are some great things I would like to share since the depressing year and what have been happening ever since June onward. Of course, I also feel bad for this because I actually wanted to type all these out earlier, but that would mean lesser things to be typed out. Anyways, I have learned many things over the course of this period of agonizing worries and then to the glory of esteem growth of my life around me which I am grateful for. Although it is stressful, it is definitely way better than what I have experienced last year which was extremely intolerable. You will notice I won't be talking about family matters at home because there is not much to say about it. I'm just glad that I am currently able to spend time with my family especially with my mom often this holiday although there is family drama here and there once in a while with the big shots. It'd probably make up for the time I spent way too much at school studying and doing projects as well which did not allow me time for myself to spend with family and friends. With that, I begin the journey of what have been happening. Drum rolls... *Ba Dum Tsssssssss!* That's not right...

1) Ngee Ann Poly Happenings

"What's Up Doc?"

Basically, let me begin all this with the Batam Trip of 2017 with my class and school which surprisingly had episodes here and there on its own despite it being a bonding trip. However, I won't want to share them in full details because it is obviously personal to the others in my class which I respect plus I forgot what those arguments were about. We were being shown around Batam for the first day up until we checked in to our hotels where we were briefed for what we were about to do the other two days. If I an remember, we went for dinner at a restaurant and shopped around somewhere for about 1.5 hours which I did not buy anything much. I was going around the mall with ST and the few others, looking to see what was interesting for us. The second day of the trip was much more interesting though as we played bonding games till a certain timing near the evening while ST was also seemingly upset with me for reasons not known. Afterwards, we were to practice for our upcoming performance dinner back at the hotel which we have been practicing beforehand. The last day was of course when we have to already start packing up and assemble before heading back to the ferry. Before that, we headed for a few more destinations before lunch then we took the ferry back home and parting ways afterwards.

A photo with everyone. Good times. Happy times, never to be forgotten as well.

The time after the Batam Trip was hectic and stressful although it was still only 2/4 of the 1st year. There were many projects to be rushed such as Business Law and Microeconomics (which was surprisingly more stressful in terms of projects). Well, it was awhile till the exams came. Surprisingly we had enough time to revise for all the exam-able modules. However, I only revised POA due to the suppression of time available to use due to the time taken by revising both MIEC and B-Law altogether. What's been happening during the exams? The first paper if I remember clearly was the MIEC paper which was fairly easy although I got stuck for the middle part. I had no idea what I was doing for the POA paper even though I knew some of the concepts I could have used anyways and lastly, the B-Law paper was complete crap. It was screwed it up very badly. Well, the two of the LACs that had to be done to be exact. Initially I wrote what I thought was the right answer for the 2nd LAC and started for the 3rd one until it was realized that the one I have written for the 2nd one was wrong and it was cancelled which caused a lot of confusion and left not much time to complete everything and I was forced to only complete half of the 3rd one before time ran out. Surprisingly though, the results which I have gotten was well enough for me to move on to the next semester with my B-Law getting a D+ and my total GPA to be 2.5 which is quite good despite what happened.

Come to the next semester after my 2 months break. There were many many modules to focus on such as Organisational Behavior, Business Management, Decision Support Applications, Innovation Toolkit, Macroeconomics, Sports & Wellness and of course Business Statistics being the hardest. The period of schooling even through the 2 weeks holidays for the semester was pretty much all scoped up by the amount of project work we have to do except for probably the 1st week. There was so much to do that after the 2 weeks holidays, I had to stay back with my team members until 10+pm almost everyday and they even went to my house once to overnight and do the work. They overnighted at one o their houses but I did not go as I wasn't really allowed to plus, I do not see the point in fully rushing for work in that kind of timing as I heard some of them fell asleep anyways. It was extremely packed till the exams arrived as we had to spend the days doing up our projects before submitting each of them and then having left about 1 week to study for the 4 major modules which are exam-able. There was a day where I spent the night going to K's house as it was his 21st Birthday celebration. The end results for the exams is that they were all quite do-able but very very tricky from OB onward with B-Stats being the hardest as I could not do a lot of questions from the paper and ended up completing it last minute with a few blanks. Actually a lot of blanks. I just hope that I am able to at least pass all of the modules.

2) The Revived Living of Life, The Long Awaited Holidays and the Kicked Traitor

"Klaatu Barada Nikto!"

At last comes the long awaited holidays which not only me, but everyone have been looking forward to during the holidays. Nobody really gave a shit about what they did for the exams after roughly about 2 hours of discussing what was the variety of wrong answers they have put. Nobody cares, it's the holidays where we all finally get to relax and now it is roughly just the middle of it. I can let you all know or whoever is reading this post that this is one of the best holidays by far I have ever had since I came into Ngee Ann Poly other than the outing with LadyV (person will be explained later on) during June of 2017. I have probably explained about the June Holidays incident during 2017 and you will probably know why I hated that holiday a lot. If you haven't, do read up so you will know, plus it's really good stuff to read.

Anyways, I have to backtrack a little bit back to 2017 where it was the period not long after the June holidays. Just to recap as little bit. As I have know or in fact found out that R have been betraying me since the start of the very early days of ITE, I began to wonder why. ST and JW both acted very abnormally as well and their outings were dedicated to denouncing me as a normal person generally. I knew that a lot of people was involved as well especially the ones I thought who were close to me especially SS and A. Although A's betrayal was only known recently this year when more discussions and serious talking have led to the conclusion. After knowing all of the confirmed traitors or, fake friends as many people would say, I got really depressed and broken for a period of time where I could not even focus well on my studies back at Ngee Ann Poly once school started. The period was horrible especially the later 3 weeks of 2017's June Holidays. I was literally scared almost everyday as if the whole gang of cultists would come after me the next day, I could not sleep properly and ended up sleeping at 03:00 am or 04:00 am on a daily basis. With all that happening, I would of course be thinking all of the time. You all must be probably wondering, "Why so sad"? Well, things like this is mentally hard to digest within a few months and of course the thoughts come pretty easily. Of course it wasn't all that bad you see. I've been hanging out with my own friends back in the day when all these cult outings happened behind my back. That kept me from breaking down often, in fact my own outings made me happier and somehow forgot about things. That's when I started to pick up my drinking habit but it was not so severe back then although I did get drunk all the time from all the beer. Of course school started again all the way to the 2 weeks break in between before the exam period.

The two weeks break period was when my 21st birthday party happened. A lot of people asked me, "Why hold your birthday party on December when your birthday is at January"? It's because 4th January is when I bet a lot of people won't be free as school is already starting and the projects deadline will flood in like the water that went into the Titanic. Anyways, back to the topic. I've been planning this 21st birthday party for quite a while, like a few months in advance. I was excited, inviting people specifically my secondary school friends. Well, I did invite my ITE friends with the main ones being only WY and TK. ST and JW was invited as well although there was technical difficulties in that (no need to understand it). I did try to invite some other people as well but they were not free such as LadyV and a few of my friends from my Secondary School. All was set in inviting people as my family members was already invited by my mom. The day was Sunday, 24 December 2017. Surprisingly enough that it was the Eve of Christmas which I did not really realize when inviting my friends along. Still, all of them came in the end. People started pouring in at about 03:00 pm with WH coming in first followed by JC (technically an ITE friend) and then the rest. Before that, I was helping my mom prepare the food and my aunt also came earlier to help set up with various balloon decorations. The way the party went was actually way better than I had anticipated months earlier when I was still planning about it. Everyone started arriving with both ST and JW being the latest among everyone who came and everyone thought ST was my girlfriend which was, weird and just no. Me and all my friends were in the room talking and started playing a card game called "Cards Against Humanity" if I remember correctly. My family members were all outside with the kids playing with each other and the adults gambling. The buffet dinner was great as well although I did not really eat well as I honestly felt uncomfortable about something. The activities continued till it was time to cut the cake and the opening of presents. JC had to go off first after the cake cutting as he had something on. Back to the opening of presents where I think mainly WH, WY and JE was involved in along with my family members as the rest were still in my room talking and chilling. Every of the presents I opened got cooler and cooler the more I open each of them although I did not want to read the birthday cards yet.

So TK, ST and JW left after the opening of the presents as TK had something on with his family as well while the two girls had to go home in fear of scoldings from their moms. My family members left as well and the rest of us (me, WH, WY, CQ, JE, RM) just went into our rooms with the caramel-flavored beer and talked about life till around 04:00 am or so. It was very tiring but extremely fun at the same time. We had so much fun talking and just laughing all the way, that's how life should have worked out during the ITE days, but better late than never. As the clock hit 04:00 am. We prepared ourselves and walked all the way to Causeway Point to have breakfast at McDonald's. As I said, it was tiring yet very fun. We all went home shortly after eating and chilling there. There was, of course, various photos that we took throughout the day.

 Photo with the entire family.

 The main crew on my family's side.

 This, is the group which have been by my side for so long. I am sorry for everything I have done. I hope to make it up to them one day.

 This photo, is with the trusted ITE friends that did not get brainwashed by R.

Me, myself and I with a smile. A happy man.

All of this was possible with the help of some of my friends and my mom. Furthermore, without invitation of R significantly improved the perception of how I planned the birthday party. The only thing was that the day after the party, she messaged me through Whatsapp and asked why I did not invite her, to which I just last seen her and she just... disappeared from my life, playing the victim to something much worse she have done to me. The victim play of hers was really disgusting but I did not care, my life is already getting better everyday once she was gone from my life. Well, at least I do not really have much worries and fear from the ITE people anymore. It's funny how she thought she thought she was the VIP of the party though.


2.1) Sidetrack Topic

"Denn Die Todten Reiten Schnell".

"That is one big pile of shit".

So basically this was what happened a day after my birthday party as shown above. This is the first time I did such a thing but I do not respect her enough to keep this private anymore. Besides, I'm good enough to block off the number, or at least that is the basic courtesy of any human-being. Well, so she Whatsapped me the first one a day after which of course, I ignored. I went to check on my Twitter and she played the victim, she acted as if she did no wrong. What the hell. As disgusting as she can be, she even tried to invite people to discuss about this issue. Of course she failed in that part. So another day passed and the second message was sent. Apparently, she's not going to bother me anymore and this will be the last message to me from her. That's a very considerate thing of her to do for me judging by what she have done to my ITE life, ruining it completely. Yeah, good riddance bitch. She really thinks that just because she controls everybody's lives, just because she helped me at times, I owe her my life? Is she really that plain stupid? Oh wait, yes she is. I care not for whatever happens to her anymore as we go on separate paths. I heard she's pretty much friendless now from various sources, as much as I am supposed to feel sorry for her, she deserves it and do not even earn that kind of respect from anyone. She also does not deserve any forms of remorse from me neither will I ever forgive her for what she's done. People say, "Past is the past". Yes, I agree, but whatever she have done have crossed the borders of being acceptably forgivable by human standards even. I hope she learns her lesson the hard way and really don't even mention anything about me anymore.

If R, you really come across this blog by some unknown or known means, yeah, you've been a real bitch all this time, betrayed my trust in you, you made use of my secrets and turn it against me with the people I once saw as friends. Read good and clear, we are no longer friends or even associates. So go f**k yourself really hard and never even think about stepping back into my life or any of my friends' lives you bitch! All our lives is much much better without you interfering with everything we try to do or plan.


2.2) Back to Where We Left Off

"Uncertainty is the first step to self-determination, courage comes next".

Let's get back on track. Besides the birthday party, there was other outings as well which spanned over the nights of each day we hung out together such as counting down for the new year and various visiting during Chinese New Year. During the last day of Chinese New Year, despite losing money due to me having bad luck at gambling or specifically, Blackjack, all of us cycled to Ang Mo Kio MRT station to have McDonald's as supper except JE's boyfriend and his friend who took cab home. We stayed till around 04:00 am where we parted ways. Some of the outings were not really planned as well yet we have so much fun. It was only just who could come and who could not. This was unlike the ITE people we knew where only certain people were allowed and even worse, permission must be granted for some to attend otherwise the people involved would be shunned away as well which I find to be utterly or equally disgusting as R. Oh yes. After the birthday party, there was an outing where we went to Vivo City and Plaaza Sing to shop around. I think we went to Vivo City afterwards and then we just shopped around wherever we went. If I remember correctly, we went to watch a movie together before heading off to Vivo City. Before the movie, we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant which was quite expensive, but the quality being brought to us were really good.

Another good thing is that the food hunts which were planned by me and Wen Ye worked quite well too with the addition of WH joining in the mix of where to eat with our favorite joining, TK. We went to eat at one of Toa Payoh's food center on Friday, 9 March 2018. We ate the Hokkien Mee as said by WY to be the most wondrous of all foods. How we went to the hawker center was through cycling other than TK, where he took the cab there instead. The Hokkien Mee was really quite nice and the broth really did have the flavors was advertised by WY. Took me awhile or a few hours to realize I actually ate there before. As all the people reading can guess, we went to hang out and chill at a near-by playground as well before going home. There were many instances of fun outings which need not be in full details as we all know the final outcome of all of them, tiredness from the fun that we experienced from all these outings. I'm really thankful for that. Despite all of my past mistakes, I am still accepted by my friends which not many people would do these days. If I could just travel back in time, the first thing I would do would to be to erase all these horrible mistakes and focus solely on them. I'm just glad with the party, I am able to make WY and TK feel accepted and feel like human beings where there is no discrepancies in a group, where my secondary school friends make them feel like individuals with their own ideals and able to share them.

3) The Good, The Bad and The Fugly

"That is one big pile of shit".

With good times, we all have to agree that there is always a balance in the course of life. It can never be too good, neither can it be too bad although it was really too bad once during June. My point is very simple, there were some difficulties along the way recently despite all our extremely good times. However, I must stress that these problems were just very minor. The only thing which allows themselves to be identified as actual problems is that how they came about were pretty stupid. I don't even know how to properly type this out. Let's just say that there were a few ITE outings that could have happened now and well, it did not due to some issues ST and JW magically have when I turn up. I think it's pretty obvious on why they can't turn up, either they are really not free or it's just that I'm there (just speculations). Still, it's kind of funny how it feels like asking for permission when one of my friend helped me tell them that I'm going to the outing which they host or the ones which they want to hang out with ITE people. Apart from that, this is frankly not really that much of an impact on my life due to the fact that the reasons both of them gave recently were utterly stupid, although it still made me feel unaccepted as a friend in their eyes due to my past mistakes. I just simply do not understand why they would not just say it out in my face and we could come to a resolution to solve whatever they find uncomfortable with me. It's not like I would rape them or anything. What the hell. Am I that bad in their eyes? Am I just another creep in their lives or do they simply not care for who they wish not to keep in contact anymore because I have not much value to them anymore? Well, we definitely would not find out the answer anytime soon. However, ST did keep her promise and wrote for me the birthday card she promised to write for me. I have to admit, it was rather touching because it was really nicely done which I did not expect that kind of effort a few months after my birthday.

Regarding ST, there is an incident which kind of involves her. Here's how it went. I got an introduction from WY about an admin job which pays $7 per hour where only I only had to install a certain unknown software for various offices of certain schools which I assume they randomly assign me to go. So I accepted the offer and had to wait for ST to accept it. By the time I messaged the guy I was supposed to about the job offer, the job opening was unfortunately closed. I did not have much thoughts about it until I was told what really happened. You see, I already knew that ST did not really want the job because me and WY thought she did not want to work with me. However, it was just that she thought I was the replacement because she thinks my friend was mad at her. So, yeah. Stupid. I was kind of, or very mad about it for at least a week till I cooled down although she still does not realize what she have done. I hope she does realize it soon enough. Despite the troubling matter about work, the happy thing is I did find unexpected work in the end which was doing flyer distribution for my cousin's tuition center. I was pretty simple, $7 an hour and $5 per block for door-to-door distribution. I must admit that both of these parts of the job were very tiring, but at least I am making enough money for my own allowance for daily usage during the holidays so I wouldn't have to ask my mom for money. Well, that is pretty much about how I am doing for my holidays now currently. Going out with friends, having a form of work with sustainable pay and also gaming without restriction although now I'm starting to read more often as well. Strangely though, I have bought a philosophy book to read as well. I do hope to achieve this holiday to really feel like a holiday, productive and positive.

One more thing, there was one time I played NBA at WY's house and the loser got to drink a shot of Vodka. Yeah, not a very good idea. The dumbest thing I could have accepted by a long shot. You all could probably guess what happened after he scored 70 points, or even 30 points. Yup. I was gone although I don't really remember what happened. I only knew that I had a really terrible headache and I had trouble sleeping until 05:00 am and I just slept afterwards I guess because I woke up at like 12:00 pm. WH and WY did meet me up the next day to tell me what have happened, of course it was not good at all when I got extremely drunk. Vomiting at WY's house and some random cabby's car. I was also told that I saw every single one as LadyV. Thank goodness I was not messaging her the very least and my phone was kept away from me till I was slightly, awake.

4) To Love or Not to Love? 💘

"Do or do not, there is no try".

Love. This word is commonly overused by people to show their affection for another, yet, their actions do not show what they actually mean. It kinds of make me wonder sometimes. That's not the point in this part of the long ass story of what the f**k has been happening since June 2017. I did mention someone called LadyV and she calls herself that which is safe for me to take it as her name here. It's a friend I've met since I came into Ngee Ann Poly although I did have encounters of seeing her during the dark days of ITE, during the time where I attended the Roteract Club event watching the warrior's games (a suckish soccer match where the team we root for always loses) with the most of the people whom I thought I could call my friends. I did saw LadyV although I did not have much thoughts about nor did we even communicated even once back then. Come Ngee Ann Poly however, it kind of went off from there where we introduced ourselves. Surprisingly though, or not, she remembers ST quite clearly. Our conversations were pretty normal from time to time. If I remember correctly, I remember how our conversations really kicked off was one time inside the class Whatsapp group and I started to message her privately because of something I said in the group. As time goes by, we started to talk more bit by bit till we did not for about roughly 5 weeks. I did not know what happened, I thought she was mad at me or something. This was also the time where one of my classmates secretly had a crush on me as well.

We only started to talk again one time when the Batam Trip incident happened with ST. Furthermore, I was also pretty depressed as I had quite a big commotion with my mom right after I got back from my Batam Trip which made the whole situation much worse. Me and ST was to go to a classroom where the so-called balcony was just outside the classroom, to Ngee Ann Poly people, it would be well-known as Block 51 I think. So we went in and put our stuff down, and I just went out, sat down and just thought about life, about how to solve what was seemingly inevitable to be solved. To be very frank, I thought ST would be the one to come out cause I saw her as my closest friend in Ngee Ann Poly but I understood she did not cause she was upset at me. Well, LadyV came out a while after I sat down and we just talked. I do not really recall what the conversation really was about, but it kind of cheered me up and I felt better. As time progresses, I kind of liked her but that did not really go too much into my mind back then as I was focused and worried about the kind of workload Ngee Ann life have given us. Seeing how she coped with her work, I decided to help her out as well to the best of my abilities, even after she went on to another class because she remoduled. I did what I could, gave her notes, suggest her tips, tell her what's coming out and what not and also explained to her what she missed out. I sincerely do hope my efforts do help her finally progress from the two modules she currently remoduling.

There were some things she said to me as well when it was not about work. I admit, I am touched and thankful to see what she typed out although I won't be revealing what she said to me. Despite some people disliking her because of some issues, I find her a really friendly person, it's just that she does not focus too much on her work, or at all sometimes. She also kind of rekindled my passion for drawing again as well. I met her occasionally for lunch, one of it turned out to become a last minute outing where we even spent some time on Time Zone as well. I remember on 3 January 2018, she came by to our OB class for make-up lessons and gave everybody chocolates although I did not have the opportunity to talk to her because I was busy with the project work with my group. She's funny, she's talkative (in a good way) and most importantly, she have a very clear sense of direction in her life and she's independent, which one of the reasons I came to like her. Currently, I'm trying to chase her, asking her out when she's free which is kind of a rare thing due to her schedules despite it being a holiday. I do hope I get the opportunity to go out with her for the full day, like a date. One day.

5) Recollection Point

"Fortune and glory kid".

With my life pretty much in check for now, I cannot believe how much I have progressed from the dark times of June. I know I have said it many many times but I just feel very blessed right now. Even though there are some minor problems right now, they're not much of a problem. It is not as bad as how the June holidays of 2017 felt like a holocaust just because R couldn't shut up and wants to mislead other people into disliking me just because she feels that way, just because she thinks I should be punished and become friendless because of the mistakes I am tying my best to make my amends. That dark time was when I could not trust anybody, there was literally no one to really confide in at one point and of course, I knew that everybody hated me because I was... friendly? Those people that hated me, ironically enough, was the people that also come to me for help the most when they needed someone to solve their problems, R included. My ITE life back then was pretty much everyday I was mentally harassed. Problems come and go on a daily basis, I was even accused of the problems which I was not involved in. Of course, my time doing projects was pretty horrible as well but I would not dwell into that.

Those were damn horrible times. Some of them still have the cheek to message me for favors after a prolonged period of not talking to them, not even asking how I am doing.I now know what to do and I now definitely know the ITE people that are also definitely worth to be called friends. I can forgive some, but I definitely cannot forgive R, over my dead body. She is a disgusting individual, I can tell she have no sense of remorse and up till now, she is still using her disgusting acts of missing ITE and playing the victim to what she deserves. After all she's done, she still think she have a chance in ruining my life more, not anymore. She revealed all the secrets which were not meant for outside ears just because she is not pleased with how nicely I treated her, for helping her when she needed it and just being there as a friend. Just because she wanted more and better friends, she threw away the trust I had for her. She's even gone so far to even brainwash almost everyone I saw as a friend to hate me through the past mistakes I have done, even ST. She said she wouldn't give me back ST as a friend. F**king pathetic. May she just keep her word and leave me alone. She also deserves what she's facing now, being friendless. Although it was thought that I was joking about her being friendless, I was not joking. She brought it upon herself and she should just stay that way until she learns her lesson the hard way, or if she ever will learn.

Enough of that, I just am really thankful for how life is working for me now. I would do my very best to ensure that it stays this way. The friends I have made in Ngee Ann Poly is the kind of people that should have been the kind of class I should have been in since ITE although I am not really fond of how petty arguments among themselves cause the unity to be more divided. I'm very glad to meet and know some of them though, including LadyV, YH, JM, EA and a few others which I have came to bond with over the course of the stressful 1st year of Ngee Ann Poly. Alas, we all have to split class starting the next semester and the results will be coming out on Friday, 15 March 2018. I do hope I am able to do well enough not to re-module in any modules especially B-Stats. Importantly, this holiday will be a pretty good and a lengthy one as well so I would want to meet the people that want to meet me. Furthermore, I would also want to take this time to make it productive which I already have and try to make amends for the mistake of me neglecting my secondary school friends at one point, by hanging out with them more whenever they can.

Epilogue 

"We all create our own purpose in life".

Well, to every end of a story is the start of the conclusion, or should I say the ending piece of this tale. Of course there is quite a number of things I could have avoided to prevent all those nasty things at June, but the very least now is that my life is improving better than expected. There was something that I have been quite good at doing which is predicting certain things which will happen. Definitely they were not that accurate, but were very very near to what I have said although I would not give the details. I aim to actually improve this skill or ability as most people would put it, it adds the humor to life and occasionally, whatever bad events that may happen over the course of this good holiday. Touch wood but at least it won't be as bad as the June holidays of 2017.

Recently, I have been going to the gym as well to improve on my fitness and also health. It might not be as often as the various buff-lords that reside in the gym, I definitely enjoy the fact that some things are actually working out for me as I have foreseen to some extend. Since the peace, I also definitely wish to complete reading some of the books which I have bought recently, and one or two which was not really recently bought. I just hope that I pass all of my modules a well as the results will be released on Friday, 16 March 2018, which is conveniently tomorrow as I am typing all of this. To end off, as I have said many times, I do hope that more outings would occur before school starts as I'm sure we all would not have the time to ourselves once projects and studying kicks in. Till next time when there are even more interesting shit that happens, I'm very sure there would be lots of happenings this holiday, peaceful ones at least. Gosh, that was a mouthful, or lots of typed words as many would say. Ciao!

With love,
YKS